Waiting on a Water Tank

I feel like a lot of my time is spent waiting on water tanks to fill. A horse drinks at least ten gallons of water per day. I have one horse who can drink more than thirty gallons a day in the heat of summer, meaning his seventy gallon tank needs to be dumped, cleaned, and refilled every other day, if not more. I say all of this to explain that I spend a lot of my time filling up water tanks.

While I wait, I often sit on the top rail of the fence and reflect on a lot of things, like work, my youth group kids, or the horses themselves. Other times I write, capturing a few sentences or phrases or ideas that have been floating around in my head. I find it better to sit still and wait on the water than to wander off and do something else. Why?

Because if I don’t sit there and wait, I overflow the tank and leave myself, and my poor horses, with a muddy mess. A muddy mess that only time can clean up.

Last week, I was sitting on my top fence rail, waiting on a water tank, wishing it would go faster because the sun was setting and I was cold, when a question came into my head.

How often does God ask me to wait, and instead of sitting still and waiting, I rush off and fill my time with other things that leave me in a mess?

I didn’t want to think about the honest answer.

Isaiah 40:31 is a verse I am very familiar with. It was my school’s theme verse for preschool through eighth grade. It reads: “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Because I heard it so often, I’m not sure I ever gave it much thought. This says God gives new strength to those who wait on Him. We all know it can be hard to be patient, but God gives us strength when we wait on Him. Psalm 27:14 shares a similar meaning: “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

No one likes to wait, especially in today’s world where we’ve gotten used to everything being instant or quick. But if we don’t wait, we may make a mess God never intended for us to be in. We may deal with heartache that our rushing around caused. Like the mud from the overflowed water tank, only time and God can heal the pain.

As a writer, I want to write the story. But I’m learning that the stories I write, that I make up in my head, are different than the story of my life that God is writing. So even when I think I know how my story should go, I have to remember to let go of the pen, and give it back to God. Especially in seasons of waiting.

We may not understand why God is telling us to wait. But His plan is better than ours. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. The will of God is better than anything you know to ask for. The waiting will be worth it.

Another Excerpt from Caroline’s Purpose

Connor rubbed the crescent moon on Luna’s forehead. “Caroline, can I ask you something?”

Caroline lifted her eyes to his as she continued working on Luna’s coat. “Yeah, go ahead.”

“Back in the classroom, when we started our presentation, it seemed like you couldn’t do it. You started to talk, but nothing came out. Then all of a sudden, you flipped a switch, and you were fine.” Connor paused, taking a breath.

Caroline stared at him. “I guess I’m waiting for a question?”

Connor laughed. “Right. Well, I guess I’m just wondering how you did it.”

A slight hint of red came across Caroline’s cheeks as she looked back down to Luna’s coat. “If I tell you, you’ll either laugh at me, or think I’m crazy.”

Connor grinned. “What if I promise to do neither?”

Caroline rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you can make that promise.”

“I think I can. I won’t laugh. I just want to know.”

Caroline looked at him, her eyes doubtful, her cheeks still red. “Alright, I’ll hold you to that.” She slid the curry comb off her hand and reached for the lead rope. “Do you want to get her other side?”

“Sure thing.” Connor handed her the rope as he slid the curry over his own hand. He started working at Luna’s shoulder.

Caroline sighed, running her fingers through Luna’s forelock. “In high school softball, we were the Colts. That was our mascot. Our coach put a horseshoe on the wall by the entrance to the bullpen. When we got to the field for practice or a game, we would touch it. It was our way of leaving everything from our day outside, so we could focus on what we needed to do. Just a little mental trick. Obviously, I needed to focus on our presentation, so I pictured the horseshoe and touched it in my head.”

Connor watched as her cheeks turned a deeper red. Caroline wouldn’t look up at him. She just kept running her fingers through Luna’s forelock. “Hey, I’m not laughing,” Connor reassured her as he put the curry comb away and reached for the stiff bristled brush.

“True, but you have to think I’m crazy…”

*Remember you can pre-order now! Release date is January 5th!

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Christmas

We’ve all heard the saying,
“Walk a mile in my shoes-“
Meaning live even just a moment
Of my life before you judge

Me, or anything I’ve done.

We all have experiences and
Trials, that are unique to us,
Feeling pain, fear, and everything
Else- wondering who could ever relate,

If there’s anyone who could understand.

One night, under a single star,
A virgin girl had a baby, and
Laid him to rest in a bed of hay, surrounded
by animals who were trying to eat-

The humblest beginning for a King.

The King grew from a child to a
Man, feeling and experiencing life, and
All of the pain and joy, grief and happiness,
Betrayal and friendship, love and loss

That comes with being alive.

The King from Heaven, the Son of God
Came and walked miles in our shoes,
Putting Him in the perfect place to judge.
But He didn’t. He wouldn’t.

Because He only came to love.

Caroline’s Purpose: Softball Excerpt

“Caroline could feel the crowd’s anticipation. She could sense the energy pulsing through her team. Everyone knew this was it, the last batter she would have to face if she could get the out. The championship would be theirs.

The no-hitter would be hers.

She forced another deep breath as she stepped to the rubber to get her sign. Another drop ball. She repeated the motion and spin she had just thrown for a called strike one. She got the ball back, replanted her feet on the rubber, and waited for the next call.

Caroline nodded her head, agreeing to the changeup. Keep your arm speed up, she reminded herself as she worked the ball in her glove to get the grip she wanted. She flipped her wrist as she released, slowing down the pitch for a called strike two.

The fans for their team stood up in the stands, recognizing they needed just one more strike to win. Caroline took the ball to the edge of the pitching circle, looking out at the center field fence, then up to the lights shining down on the field. The last beams of light from the sunset glowed over the top of the mountains. The May breeze ruffled the end of her ponytail. She closed her eyes. You can do this. Throw a strike. It’s that easy.

Turning back, determination echoing in each step, she took to the rubber. The catcher relayed the sign to her. Screw ball, up and in.

With two strikes on the hitter, Caroline knew she needed to make this a chase pitch, something out of the strike zone that would trick the batter into swinging and missing. She pictured where she wanted it to go, and off she went.

She gave the pitch a little extra oomph, grunting as she snapped the ball. It ran in and up, going right where she wanted it. The batter swung through it, missing by several inches. Strike three. Three outs. Ballgame.

State championship.

No-hitter…”

Caroline’s Purpose is available for pre-order now!

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The Beginning of Caroline’s Purpose

I thought I would share the beginning of the writing process for Caroline’s Purpose. This picture was taken three years ago today. It was an assignment for a class in my master’s degree program, and I was dealing with some serious writer’s block until I went outside and wrote in the barn with my horses. This was the first scene I wrote for the book, but it is actually in what is now Chapter 18. I very rarely write stories in order. I always start with the scenes or images or conversations that are the most vivid. The order comes together later.

Remember you can pre-order Caroline’s Purpose! Release date is January 5th, which is only three weeks away!

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Excerpt from Caroline’s Purpose

Today, I’m excited to share an excerpt from Caroline’s Purpose:

“With small steps, Caroline tiptoed away from Jasper’s stall, hoping for just a peek of Edison. He cowered in the back corner of his stall, pawing at the floor, his skin stretched taut over every rigid muscle in his body.

Caroline stopped three feet from the door. She peered over it on her tiptoes, seeing his grain bucket smashed against the wall, bent almost in half from the dent in the middle of it.

“Well, that wasn’t very smart, bud. What are you going to eat out of, now that you kicked your bucket?” Caroline muttered. Edison continued to paw.

Even under the patches of dirt and loose, dull hair, and the knots in his mane and tail, it was easy to see how beautiful he was. The copper red of his coat was highlighted by the blond of his mane. The angles of his haunches and shoulders were perfect, and his muscles showed off his athletic structure.

“No one here is going to hurt you. You have to know that by now.” Caroline took two steps closer to the stall. At the sound of her voice, Edison’s head snapped up and he froze, his eyes looking straight into hers.

Caroline’s breath caught in her throat. The connection she felt with him was so familiar. The pain and fear in his eyes reflected what she often felt herself. Without thinking, she closed the space between her and the door, reaching out and touching the top of it with her fingers…”

Caroline’s Purpose is available for pre-order now on the following sites! The release date is January 5th, 2021!

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About Caroline’s Purpose

The question I get asked the most is probably, “What is your book about?” I’ve always struggled to answer, but now, I can just share what’s written on the back cover:

“Caroline Davis, a sophomore in college, finds herself at a crossroads, suffocated by fear and anxiety. Everything she claimed to be or dreamed of becoming has been lost to her, including her faith in God.

When she meets Connor Taylor, Caroline finds that he is able to relate to her pain more than she would have thought possible.

With the help of Edison, an abused horse, Connor seeks to help Caroline learn to use her past as a stepping stone towards the future.

As her relationship with Connor grows, Caroline must make a choice to conquer her fear or to stay where she feels safe. Their relationship and her future hang in the balance.”

Remember it’s now available for preorder on Amazon and Barnes and Noble! The Kindle and Nook editions are available too.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Carolines-Purpose-Erica-Zaborac/dp/1611533929

Barnes and Noble: https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/carolines-purpose-erica-zaborac/1138372131?ean=9781611533927

Beautiful Ransom

Can a ransom be beautiful?

When the enemy takes you,
And keeps you, setting the price
So high, that you wonder who will pay,
Or if you’re worth the payment at all.

The enemy holds you down in your own
Regret, replaying mistake after mistake,
Drowning you in pain, and self-doubt.
Convincing you his way is better, maybe

Even easier, or freer. To live as the world,
To do what you want. Only to realize it
Becomes a wage you can never earn,
And a price you will never pay back.

Can a ransom be beautiful?

When the Son Himself steps down,
Becoming a little lower than the angels,
Leaving the throne to become human,
Suffering when He didn’t do anything wrong.

When nail pierced hands cast sin
As far as the east is from the west.
When a thorn crushed brow bled without
Complaint, against a splintering wood cross.

When death made it look like the enemy
Had won, just before the stone rolled away.
The Son paying the price, covering the wage,
Loving us, caring enough, to set us free.

Can a ransom be beautiful?

Yes,
When perfect love pays it all.