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Two Years Passing

Time flies by, and drags on,
Opposites true in an instance.

We wait for something that never comes,
And miss significant, small moments.

What is two years, besides the passing
Of days? What remains? What will be?

Two years is the time that has now passed
Since I lost you, and a huge part of me.

The ache stays in place, the tears still fall,
Roses, growth, change-all have new meaning.

I’ve changed, a lot, I’m growing up now,
I hope my life would have you proud, beaming.

I talk to your memory, I miss your advice,
And most country music now makes me cry.

We’re doing alright, Mom and me, but we’re
Different, changed, with each day going by.

I wish I had one more chance to thank you,
For everything you did, and still do,

You shaped me, loved me, cared for me,
And I will forever and always love you.

Something Beautiful

She landed where she didn’t belong,
In a place of fear and uncertainty.
None of her plans worked out,
Not a single dream came true.

She questioned why she was there,
What good it could possibly be for.
She’d ruined everything else she’d touched.
Why would this be any different?

She felt out of place, not good enough,
To stay put where she had been placed.
She was hurt, frustrated, ready to quit,
Until she was gently and sweetly reminded

She doesn’t do anything alone.

It’s through His strength, and not her own,
That she is used for His plan.
So even in a place she never thought of,
In a dream she had never had,

He can make something beautiful.

Caroline’s Purpose: Letter Excerpt

“I wanted to answer my own question. I asked you who you were, and you told me you didn’t know. You are a great person. You are a person who has dealt with a lot of pain and loss. You are a girl with a gift. And most importantly, you are a girl God cares about. I’ve read a few verses this week that I wanted to share with you. I’m sure you’ve read them, back before you didn’t believe.
Matthew 11: 28–30: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Romans 8: 28, 38–39: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose… For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I know in the middle of loss, it is hard to believe that He cares. If He cared, He would have kept the bad stuff from happening, right? Believe me, I’ve struggled with these thoughts myself over Emily. But I’ve come to understand it doesn’t work that way, even if we wish it did.
God is the master planner and creator. He sees an image and a story that we can’t even dream of. He can use our pain and our loss, and our doubts, to fulfill His plan. We just have to trust Him. I know this is all easier said than done.”

This excerpt is part of a letter Connor wrote to Caroline. Do you want to read all of it? Or do you want to know everything that led up to this moment? Order Caroline’s Purpose now! If you’ve read it, comment below and leave a review on Amazon.

The Shepherd, The Lamb

The sheep are bleating, crying
For help, longing for a place,
Where they can feel safe, where they
Know they are loved and belong.

They’ve wandered in darkness,
Misguided by the world,
Trying to fight off the predators,
But they can’t win the battle alone.

The Shepherd comes down,
To protect and to guide them,
Fighting off their enemies,
And shouldering their burdens.

He cares for every need,
Carrying the weak and wounded,
Leading them to quiet pastures,
Guarding their hearts from hurt.

He’s attentive, checking each one,
Showing them love and kindness,
Making sure no bone is broken,
Making sure no fear remains.

He knows what has to be done,
To bring the scattered sheep home,
He loves them enough to save their lives,
Even if it means giving up His own.

The Shepherd became the Lamb,
The Perfect One for sacrifice,
Silently, He suffered. Nails and thorns,
And sin, piercing, and weighing Him down.

But death on the cross could not hold Him,
The Lamb rose from the grave,
Defeating the darkness and the enemy,
Paying our debt, setting us free.

The Lamb now sits on the throne,
Shepherding the sheep, binging them in,
Until the day He comes back,
And wipes every tear from our eyes.

Caroline’s Purpose: Rain Excerpt

“Leaving the stall, Connor and Caroline pushed the hay bale to the side so they could shut the door. They walked to the house, their arms brushing as they went, and climbed up the steps to the porch. Connor stopped and turned back, looking out toward the barns. The paths were lit with lanterns, causing the stones to glisten from the rain.
“What’s wrong?” Caroline followed his gaze, trying to see or hear whatever had stopped him.
“Nothing is wrong. I do this every night. Look out over everything and remember how blessed I am to live this life. This, right here, is my favorite view.”
Caroline looked out again, this time not looking for something wrong, but appreciating it for what it was. “It is beautiful.”
“Caroline, is it okay if I pray?”
She studied him and saw the sadness still clinging to his eyes. If praying was what he needed to do, she wouldn’t get in his way. “Sure.”
Connor took her hand before he closed his eyes and began. “Lord, thank you for this day and for keeping us safe. Thank you that Caroline was here to calm Edison down, and thank you for her friendship. I haven’t been able to talk about Emily in a long time, and I needed to. Please help us remember You have a purpose for us, even through all of the pain and loss that we can’t understand. In Your name I pray, Amen.”
Connor opened his eyes and looked at her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. For what it’s worth, I’m glad I was here tonight.”
Connor smiled as he let her in the front door of the house. All of the lights were off, except for one in the kitchen, and one over the stairs. “My mom left you some clothes on the bed in the guest room,” Connor told her as they headed up. “If you need anything else, I’m right across the hall.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Goodnight, Caroline.”
“Goodnight, Connor.”
Inside the guest room, Caroline fingered the clothes on the bed, then padded across the carpet to the window. The room was right above the porch, so she had the same view Connor had just told her was his favorite.
She stood there, staring out of the damp glass, replaying everything he had told her. He was right, he did understand why she didn’t believe anymore. He understood more about her than she had ever thought someone could. Maybe one day she would be able to tell him the truth, tell him her own story.
And maybe one day, he’d be able to help her believe again.”

Caroline’s Purpose is available now! If you’ve read it, and enjoyed it, please leave a review on Amazon. You can also like and share this post!

Caroline’s Purpose: Believing in God Excerpt

“Connor watched as Caroline ran her fingers through Edison’s forelock. He could see her mouth moving but couldn’t hear anything she was saying. He leaned into the stall door, in awe as the stallion was already as calm as he had been with her the other day. She did have a gift. A gift that she had given up on because of fear. A gift he wanted to help her rediscover.
‘God, help me here. Give me the right words to talk to her.’ he thought to himself.
“Caroline, can I…?” Connor stopped, and cleared his throat.
Caroline looked over her shoulder at him. “Can you ask me something?” She grinned as she teased him.
“Well… yeah. Sorry. Old habits are hard to break.”
She laughed. “No worries. Do you want to come in here? Maybe hand me his grain bucket, see if he’ll eat?”
Connor nodded as he came into the stall. He grabbed the bucket and stepped over to Caroline and Edison. The stallion perked his ears, looking at the bucket with interest.
Caroline took it from Connor and cradled it in her arms. “Hungry, big guy? You can eat.”
Edison put his head down and began chewing on his dinner. Caroline looked up at Connor, her eyes the happiest he had ever seen. “So, what did you want to ask me?”
Connor reached over and patted Edison on the neck. “Remember when we had lunch in the union? You told me you used to believe in God, but you didn’t want to explain it then. Do you think you could now?”
Caroline looked away from him, her eyes falling to Edison’s ears. Connor watched her blink as she bit her lip. He took a step closer to her.
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to.” Connor put his hand on her arm.
She looked up at him again as she felt his touch. “No, it’s okay. It’s pretty simple.”
“Simple?”
“Yeah.” Caroline shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve had to deal with too much pain and loss to keep believing He cares about me or my future.”
“I can understand that. Completely.” Connor swallowed.
“You can?” Caroline wrinkled her forehead as she looked at him.
“Yeah, I can.” He had asked God to give him the right words to say to her so many times over the last few months. And now, he knew what he had to do. He had to tell Caroline about Emily.”

Do you want to read more? Do you need your questions about Caroline, Connor, Emily, and Edison answered? Order Caroline’s Purpose now!
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1611533929/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1615084972&sr=8-1

Your Plan

I loosen my grip,
Lift up my hands,
Let everything slide
Away.

I move each finger,
Maintain my composure,
Make myself take a
Breath.

I stare at my reflection,
Sigh so I can think,
See the pain mixed with
Hope.

I blink back the tears,
Break away from the mirror,
Bring myself to face the
Truth.

My grip will never be,
Tight enough, to hold on,
To anything that isn’t
Your plan.

And even in the moment,
When it hurts, as I question,
I know it’s for the best,
Because

You don’t make mistakes.

Instead of Me

You saw who I was
And died for me anyways
Love was not blind.
But all knowing.

Which makes the gift,
Even harder to understand.

You knew my flaws,
My inner heart, my thoughts,
And still, gave Your life
For mine.

You Who were perfect,
Who never made a mistake,

Silently let them nail You
to a cross, a crown of thorns,
pressed into your brow,
with blood dripping down,

The white and blameless lamb,
Stained crimson red, tarnished,

instead of

me.

Caroline’s Purpose: Pain Excerpt

“A quick glimpse around the batting cages and the dugout showed her she was alone, the first to arrive for practice. The back gate squeaked as she pushed it open and entered the bullpen, the place where she had spent so many hours working on spins and velocity. She shuffled over to the off-white pitching rubber and stared down to home plate. She ran her thumb over the third finger on her right hand and pretended her callous was still there, molded from the seam of the ball burning her skin as it spun away toward the batter.
A blue crate of softballs sat to her left. Caroline turned toward it, thinking about the weight of the ball in her hand. She reached out, feeling the seams with just the tips of her fingers. It was the first time she had touched one since her last game, and it still felt like home.
Without giving it a second thought, she picked up the ball, dropped her backpack to the red clay dirt, and went back to the pitching rubber. She lined up her feet, placing each one with more purpose and exactness than she ever had before. She rolled the ball around in her hand, thinking about the possibility, the chance, that the doctors were wrong.
Just one pitch. One throw, and I can prove them all wrong, she thought to herself. One strike, that’s all I need. Then I can feel the excitement and joy Ryan has. Then I can have a purpose again. Caroline shifted her weight to her left foot, imagining the signal from her catcher. She rocked back, picturing where she wanted the ball to go. She took her stride toward the batter, wound her right arm up and around, and released, snapping the ball off next to her hip. The ball slammed to the ground right in front of her and skidded its way to home plate. Pain shot through her forearm and elbow, taking her breath away. She gripped her arm and went down to her knees, gasping for air…”

Buy now on Amazon or Barnes and Noble!
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Carolines-Purpose-Erica-Zaborac/dp/1611533929/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=erica+zaborac&qid=1612839386&sprefix=erica+zab&sr=8-1


Barnes and Noble: https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/carolines-purpose-erica-zaborac/1138372131?ean=9781611533927