grandma – One Word at a Time

Time flies by, and drags on,
Opposites true in an instance.

We wait for something that never comes,
And miss significant, small moments.

What is two years, besides the passing
Of days? What remains? What will be?

Two years is the time that has now passed
Since I lost you, and a huge part of me.

The ache stays in place, the tears still fall,
Roses, growth, change-all have new meaning.

I’ve changed, a lot, I’m growing up now,
I hope my life would have you proud, beaming.

I talk to your memory, I miss your advice,
And most country music now makes me cry.

We’re doing alright, Mom and me, but we’re
Different, changed, with each day going by.

I wish I had one more chance to thank you,
For everything you did, and still do,

You shaped me, loved me, cared for me,
And I will forever and always love you.

Three hundred and sixty five days-
It’s only a fraction of
Twenty six and a half years.

But each one felt so different,
So foreign, than any of the ones
That came before.

I feel like the world should
Have stopped turning, or at least
Paused. But it just kept on moving.

I’ve submitted my novel to a few
Publishers. Nothing has happened yet,
But I promise I’ll keep trying.

I’m teaching middle school now
Something you always wanted,
I’m sorry you’re not here to see.

I wrecked my car, totaled it,
Yeah, it was my fault, but I’m ok.
I’m sorry. I know you would’ve been scared.

I fell off and dislocated my shoulder,
And could hear your voice saying
“Erica Lynne,” as you shook your head.

Boog is with you now, or at least
I hope he’s found his way to you.
I always teased you that he was yours.

Madeline sleeps in your chair,
Yes, it’s covered in her gray hair, but
She’s keeping it warm and safe.

I got a puppy. I can see you rolling your eyes.
But I named him Deacon, from Nashville,
You always said Charles Esten was cute.

Each day has been divided into moments,
Some good, some okay, some hard.
I guess that’s probably normal.

Something simple can still catch me
Off guard. Like my total at the gas station- 1928. The year you were born.

Other memories come and make me
Laugh, which I know is what you would want.
You were always smiling and enjoying life.

I’ve grown a lot, changing in ways I think
are good. I’ve made some mistakes, yes,
But I hope I’ve still managed to make you proud.

Three hundred and sixty five days-
It’s only a fraction of
Twenty six and a half years,

But it stands out in bold type,
Harder, sharper, than the rest,
Because it was the first one,

Without you here.

Tag: grandma